Breadbags
Taylor: "these are the latest bags. Just got them in and they've got great arch support. How is it around the toe?"
Dylan: "fits like a dream! And These will keep the castrated hogs' blood off my feet!"
Dad: "these will keep your shoes dry!"
Girl: "but all the kids on the bus will laugh at me!"
Dad: "honey, this is iowa! All the kids on the bus wear bread bags! Shouldn't you know that since this is like the 100th day of school?
Girl: "I forgot! The nitrates must be destroying my short term memory! Hahaha!"
Dad: "Hahahaha!"