FAKE NEWS!

Oh boy, we've been pulled into the fake news orbit! Now, for the REAL story about how RAYGUN is a secret hangout for sex-crazed reptilians looking to get buck wild in the stock room while charting the New World Order's progress, please turn over to InfoWars. Read on...

We Just Had to Turn the Weather Off, Then Turn It On Again.

DES MOINES (March 21) - WEATHER! We turned it off, turned it on again, waited 2 hours, and now it's working properly. #MysteriesOfTheUniverse Read on...

Spring in Des Moines is Falling.

DES MOINES (March 21) - The weather report from our window calls for a strong chance of: WTF IS THAT?! SNOW?! IT WAS 70 YESTERDAY! Read on...

We're Taking Our Kids ... AS A WARNING!

AMERICA (March 8) - For years, Disney movies had been the absolute FOUNDATION of a macho-straight-Judeo-Christian-rule-of-law-respecting-US-of-A. You'd watch a Disney movie and say, "God damn these are some red-blooded fellas and ladies doing totally normal American stuff." But now Disney goes and pulls this shit on us? A remake of a movie they made over 20 years ago?! UNACCEPTABLE! Back... Read on...

Against All Odds, This Relationship Has Blossomed...

WASHINGTON DC (March 3) - It's good to see that not even the election of 2016 has dampened the feeling of freedom to love who you want to love. Whether you're a man, a woman, a global super-power, or a former-super-power-turned-semi-dicatorship-meets-kleptocracy. Whoever! Talk about persistence:  Read on...

Iowa Lawmaker Claims to Have a 'Degree' from Sizzler: Makes Us Think of Happy Gilmore and Education Opportunities!

DES MOINES (March 2) - Donald in 'Happy Gilmore' was the last person we heard talk about Sizzler ... until the Iowa Legislature got back in session! NBC noticed that Ottumwa Senator Mark Chelgren was claiming, on his state web page, to have a "Degree in Business Management" from "Forbco" -- a Sizzler franchisee.   Chelgren is a local hero in Iowa, ever... Read on...

Nitro and Gary: Award Announcement Flub

As far as award flubs, Nitro knows that things can get waaaayyyy worse.  Read on...

Thin Mints: The Sadness Antidote

Feb 20 - Sometimes you gotta get out and enjoy the sunshine ... then pound those Thin Mints like they're the antidote to sadness. Read on...