Overheard In The Store: What to Drive

Des Moines is usually behind the times -- from high-waisted jeans to sushi, it takes a little longer for things to arrive. Out-of-towners offer us a glimpse into our future, and according to our sources, the basic bitches in Des Moines' future will be traveling in the Infiniti QX 56. So there you have it. 

Currently, the Starbucks drive through and Target parking lot are prime spots to view Volvo XC-90s and Chevy Tahoes taking a break on their way to the Y for mother-daughter spinning class. Maybe if you've got a real a-hole on your hands, you could see a Mercedes G-Class -- rare in this environment.  

What else will the future bring? Obama's inauguration as supreme dictator, the subjugation of all hard-working white people by media-elites, and an full on ISIS-led invasion of course!