Ideas We Didn't Use: Bicycling

We released some new bike shirts today, including "Iowa: Get Your Crotch Ready," a tank-top we will probably sell about 3 of. But, like with a lot of our projects, there was a lot left on the cutting room floor. Here is a sample of ideas we didn't use: 

get on my pegs, bro, we’re ridin’ across this state

ridin’ smelly

are there showers at the camp ground?

sorry for the smell, i was under the impression there’d be showers at the camp grounds


free love (bicycle and unicylce)

i don’t always ride my bike, but when i do it’s across the entire state of iowa

i don’t always ride my bike, but when i do it’s while eating pie

i don’t always ride my bike drunk, but i am right now

tight shorts, tight bulges

bring that bulge to my tent

you mind if a man in really tight shorts and funny shoes stands next you? and i also smell like a butt.

different strokes for different spokes

i bet she gives good helmet

bicycling: i’m so healthy!

a guy in Denmark can ride about 12 miles per hour

i heard a guy rode across the whole state in 1 day

Big Bicycle Ride Across The State of Iowa (BBRATSOI)

big bulges for a big bike ride

big bike ride, sweaty bulges

310 miles: get your crotch ready

iowa: some chaffing may occur

iowa: get in some spandex and climb on

iowa: mount up

lovehandles and handlebars

get pumped

i will pump you up (with a bike pump)

wheels pumped, ass plump

RAGBRAI: the longest bike ride in existence …. or at least in iowa

i love ridin’ bikes, eating pie, and drinking beer.

how many more miles till pie?

i’m really bustin’ my ass for free pie

i thought this was the great pie ride


riding for pie

will ride for pie

i’m just here for the pie

when’s the next pie stop? the suspension is killing me.

... and then we remembered that a couple years ago, when RAGBRAI was coming through Des Moines, we were hired to do a shirt. After designing it, we were told we couldn't use the word RAGBRAI. Anyway, the camping was in Water Works park and the logo was a pig riding a bicycle. Lance Armstrong was on it that year, so that explains quite a few of the ideas. 

RAGBRAI des moines: the greatest bike party in the universe

RAGBRAI des moines: greatest bike ride, greatest city

RAGBRAI des moines: and i thought i had a good time in perry!

RAGBRAI des moines: party like you’ve been lying about using hyperbolic steroids for years

RAGBRAI des moines: dope

RAGBRAI des moines: a party on hyperbolic steroids

RAGBRAI des moines: hyper-bicycle-party

RAGBRAI des moines: catch hyperbolic steroids

RAGBRAI des moines: grand champion of RAGBRAI stops, until we have our title taken away for doping

RAGBRAI des moines: french for ride the moines

RAGBRAI des moines: french for RAGBRAI the moines

RAGBRAI des moines: tour de water works kybos

RAGBRAI des moines: tour de beer tents

RAGBRAI des moines: tour de hangover

RAGBRAI des moines: party like its 1973

RAGBRAI: des moines unchained

RAGBRAI des moines: it's all downhill from here

RAGBRAI des moines: fuuuuuuck

RAGBRAI des moines: come for the 80s cover band, stay for our insurance industry

RAGBRAI des moines: dip your tire in our river and call it a ride

RAGBRAI des moines: two rivers to dip your tires in

RAGBRAI des moines: two rivers, two tires

RAGBRAI des moines: two rivers, one bike

on a steel horse i RAGBRAI: des moines

des moines RAGBRAI: i get 1,000 miles to the gallon on this hog

RAGBRAI des moines: it's like a pig riding a bicycle … trust us

RAGBRAI des moines: you've seen a pig ride a bicycle, now watch that same pig party to an 80s cover band and throw up behind a kybo after getting his "wanna come to my tent?" line rejected by a middle-aged lady-pig.