Oh, man, modern times. Here are some alternate headlines we thought about using:
Apparently Donald Trump Tired of Winning.
America's Stablest Genius Being Stable.
In Helsinki, Very Stable Genius Acts Very, Very, Very .... uh .... Stable.
Crazy Man With Nukes Meets Head of Russia.
On This Episode of Between Two Sociopaths...
Former Head of Miss Universe Pageant Now Has Nuclear Weapons.
2 Hour Private Meeting Reportedly Includes Donald Trump Not Being Peed on For Part of the Time.
Dog-Lover Vladimir Putin Has New Bitch.*
Putin Grabs World's Largest Cheeto.
Vladimir Putin Grabs Pussy.**
*Note: we don't know if Putin is a dog lover. We bet he either tortures animals, or has animals he loves watch him torture humans.
**Note: this one is funny because Trump used the word "pussy," but calling Trump a "pussy" is an insult to the female reproductive system, which is strong, versatile, and miraculous.