THE GREAT MIDWESTERN BATTLE OF THE SHORELINES

During my weekend getaway to the Lake of the Ozarks, I was informed on two separate occasions, that I was in the heart of America's longest freshwater shoreline. 

Upon my return to the Iowa, and the internet, I realized that I had in fact been lied to. Turns out these Ozarkians are making false claims to a title CLEARLY belonging to Lake Michigan. "Who do they think they are?" I wondered. Their half-assed shoreline only measures 1,150 miles while Lake Michigan has a mega shoreline of 1,400 miles plus 238 miles for islands!

No contest. Stop the lies Missouri. We must acknowledge the accomplishments in border drawing by our Northern friends and stop trying to steal their glory. After all, as midwesterners, we gotta stick together.