We Solved The Starbucks Cup Slogan Controversy!

Our friends at Starbucks asked us the other day: "RAYGUN, we can't figure out this whole 'Holiday Season' mug thing, can you help?"

And we were like: "Sure." 

So here it is! A Starbucks holiday mug that's TOTALLY re-designed and sure to quell the whole, War-On-Christmas controversy. Not only is "Merry Christmas" right on the front, but we've replaced that weird lady with a BIG crucifix and added "Jesus: the reason for the season" at the top, where your lips touch the mug. Like you're kissing Jesus when you drink! 

The only thing more Christmas-y is if you had a nativity scene floating in your latte! 

Christmas-lovers: what's not to like about this new mug?  

Nothing! 

And did we mention that the handle is shaped like a scrotum and penis?