Why we love the Iowa State Fair

It's that sweet, salty, buttery, deep-fried on-a-stick, time of year again and we could not be more excited. What's not to love? We spend 11 days celebrating our RICH cultural heritage together and it couldn't be more American. Fat white farmers and skinny hipsters wear denim overalls while gaping at the giant balls of the state's largest boar (fun fact: Iowa leads the nation in corn, soybean and pork production so you can thank us for all the bacon) and we celebrate both a cow made entirely of butter and hundreds of real cows made of rSBT. You can admire the states best quilts, pies, canned goods and dolls. One of the greatest things you might catch at the fair is a presidential candidate deep-throating a corn dog to show his (or her) understanding of middle-America. 

The glory of our state fair can be overwhelming so we've made you a quick guideline of our itinerary:

-park in an east-siders yard

-corn dog time

-check out the cow pie toss (it's not pie)

-funnel cake and fried candy bars for dessert

-husband calling competition

-time for some air conditioning and bucket o' cookies 

-get blasted by mobility scooters as you try to carry your now much heavier body up the hill to the cultural center for some well-deserved art viewing (and more air conditioning)

-snack time: Dippin' Dots

-let's get our hearts racing to burn off some of this food: Slingshot

-throw up after Slingshot.... now there's room for more food on a stick

-try the fried butter

-throw up again

-explore the animal barns

-walk through the midway to admire all the Tapout shirts and bedazzled jeans

-hit the Bud tent

-watch your favorite 80's hair band perform with no more than one of the original members

-watch east-sider get arrested for public intox on your way out