Okay, so the bad news is that Iowa legislators seem to be kind of out of touch with reality. The GOOD NEWS? The dystopia they're working on building pretty much markets itself!
"Under his Iowa?" / "BRAISE BEEF!"
"Blessed be the high fructose corn syrup." / "May the lord subsidize."
So, future commanders, if you're reading this, just know that, instead of hanging us you could maybe let us work in your propaganda department? We know how to use Photoshop!